Jeff Hanneman, founding member of metal band Slayer, died on May 2, 2013; probably of liver failure related to alcohol abuse. It was a sad day for me, just like it was a sad day for millions of other metalheads around the world.
But the fanatical idiots that constitute the Westboro Baptist Church were happy.
Nothing new, after all they are also happy when innocent people die, they regularly picket funerals of soldiers killed overseas, and they make their young children walk around with large signs that read "God hates Fags" and "Jews killed Jesus" and other such nice messages. Of course this racist, homophobic, misogynist, openly anti-American group of morons would rejoice at the death of a popular musician, if only for the publicity their picketing of his funeral would get them.
I was pissed at them. They have no respect.
I visited their website to see if their lunacy could somehow cheer me up. I know, laughing at the deranged isn't a nice thing to do; but maybe I'm not a nice guy. I watched a video narrated by a guy called Steve Drain. Drain explained that Hanneman was somehow related to the devil -not a metaphorical one, but the actual person, the devil- and that his death was deserved, because he had apparently led millions of children down a path deemed "wrong" by Mister Drain.
Did this piss me off more? No.
It is very difficult to stay mad at Mister Drain and his fellow cultists because it becomes obvious very quickly that they are very poor and desperate human beings. Nothing on their entire website is positive; everything is about hate, hate, hate. There is nothing else in their lives, only hatred for those who do not share their very specific and peculiar beliefs. That means that they hate about 7 billion human beings, and that explains why they have nothing positive to say about anything, and must fill the emptiness in their lives with even more hate. Perhaps it makes them feel important somehow, perhaps they believe that spreading hatred and intolerance somehow gives their existence meaning. Or perhaps they have realized that they are incapable of contributing something to society and are thus setting out to destroy it; a tiny man angrily brandishing a toothpick at the well-armored giant that is the rest of humanity. How can one be mad something so pathetic, so insignificant? How can one take them seriously?
I can't answer those questions, but there is one more thing I would like to say. On the off chance that one of you WBC nutters reads this, please take this genuinely well-meant advice to heart: to fill the void in your life, chase away the dark cloud, and free yourself from the unbearable hell that must be your life, you do not need Jesus. You need a psychiatrist.
Sascha von Bornheim,
Jeff Hanneman - Wikipedia
Westboro Baptist Church - Encyclopedia Dramatica
The WBC homepage, for your amusement