I've finally finished and released Tetsuya, now available on amazon for kindle readers and kindle apps. It took several years longer than I had anticipated, but oh well... it's done!
Here is the link:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HVY4HG5
Sascha von Bornheim
The official blog of... some guy.
Monday, October 1, 2018
Sunday, September 21, 2014
Religion, the final word
I have long tried to explain why I am an atheist/agnostic/whatever-you-wanna-call-it.
So far, that has usually led to long, convoluted discussions or even arguments with friends or co-workers, simply because i failed to somehow get my point across.
So here it is, another, and hopefully final, attempt:
All religions have the same inherent flaw: they all derive legitimacy from only one source, their god. but this god only exists in the sacred texts of that particular religion. So the Christian god tells his followers in the Bible that he is the only real god, but his followers made up the Bible in the first place. How can a fictional character you created give you any sort of authority in the real world? It's like saying that Gandalf is real because Tolkien has him say that he is real in the Lord of the Rings, and then in the next chapter Gandalf declares Tolkien to be his pope.
All religious works were of course written by men, and not by gods. men invented the gods, and then these inventions declared that they were real and that we should serve them. It is beyond absurd.
A god in the biblical sense (or in the sense of any other religious work) simply does not exist. Period.
But is there a god in the sense of a creator? An entity that created the universe?
I am not going to pretend to be intelligent enough to carry on a discussion about how a creator could have created the universe out of nothing, or whether there was simply never a beginning to the universe (thus eliminating the need for creation), but I do know one thing: the existence -or lack of existence- of such an entity has absolutely no impact on my life.
So why spend time thinking about it?
Curiosity, of course; just as I would like to know who Jack the Ripper was.
But would knowing change my life?
Hell, no.
So far, that has usually led to long, convoluted discussions or even arguments with friends or co-workers, simply because i failed to somehow get my point across.
So here it is, another, and hopefully final, attempt:
All religions have the same inherent flaw: they all derive legitimacy from only one source, their god. but this god only exists in the sacred texts of that particular religion. So the Christian god tells his followers in the Bible that he is the only real god, but his followers made up the Bible in the first place. How can a fictional character you created give you any sort of authority in the real world? It's like saying that Gandalf is real because Tolkien has him say that he is real in the Lord of the Rings, and then in the next chapter Gandalf declares Tolkien to be his pope.
All religious works were of course written by men, and not by gods. men invented the gods, and then these inventions declared that they were real and that we should serve them. It is beyond absurd.
A god in the biblical sense (or in the sense of any other religious work) simply does not exist. Period.
But is there a god in the sense of a creator? An entity that created the universe?
I am not going to pretend to be intelligent enough to carry on a discussion about how a creator could have created the universe out of nothing, or whether there was simply never a beginning to the universe (thus eliminating the need for creation), but I do know one thing: the existence -or lack of existence- of such an entity has absolutely no impact on my life.
So why spend time thinking about it?
Curiosity, of course; just as I would like to know who Jack the Ripper was.
But would knowing change my life?
Hell, no.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Another "Tetsuya" update
I have decided not to pursue a specific schedule with "Tetsuya" anymore. It will be done when it's ready. Period. Anything else would be dumb, because I want this book to be good. So you'll have to be a bit patient, alright? Anyway, here is a tiny little update, not much really, but I hope you'll like it.
"There are some problems that stay with you. Forever. You
run and you run and you run... and then you run some more," he almost
whispered the last words. "But they stay with you. And all you can do is
pretend that it doesn't matter, that everything is alright; but at night, when
you're tired and you can pretend no more and you're filled with this cold and
grey emptiness... then, all you can do is numb your pain with whatever medicine
you have. Some drink. Some put needles in their arms. I kill. It's what I do. It
makes me feel alive."
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Half Distance
I feel alone in the world, with no real friend
I hate people, or is it myself I cannot stand?
Music and whiskey are welcome distractions
But dear Mister Daniel: I need a stronger blend
Lived through 3 dozen years of misery and pain
Half distance reached, but do I want to do it again?
Another 3 decades worth of failure and regret
No matter when I go, the ending's always the same
Wouldn't have made it this far without rock n' roll
If I had one I'm sure it would've saved my soul
Sabbath, Maiden and Priest make me live in the now
When the past mercilessly threatens to take its toll
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Tetsuya: an update and a preview
Well, for some time now (about 3 years, actually), I've been working on my first novel. It's a vampire story set in Japan, and it stars a samurai, Tetsuya, who is turned into a vampire during a fateful battle. Faced with the prospect of eternal life, he travels the world in search of answers, as he also tries to deal with his own need to kill people in order to live.
I am now in the last stages of rewriting and proofreading all the material I have, and I believe that I will finally (!) be able to complete this thing by January. So, here's a little preview for you. If you like it, be sure to share this post with your friends, because I could always more fans. :)
TETSUYA
Hiroshima,
1672
I am now in the last stages of rewriting and proofreading all the material I have, and I believe that I will finally (!) be able to complete this thing by January. So, here's a little preview for you. If you like it, be sure to share this post with your friends, because I could always more fans. :)
TETSUYA
Hiroshima,
1994
It was a cool October night in Hiroshima.
The leaves had begun to turn, the days had become shorter. It was cold outside.
Inside the massive Hondori mall, a young woman named Keiko has just finished
her shift in a small but upscale shoe store. Hondori was Hiroshima’s
signature shopping mall; a unique construct in what was in many ways a typical
Japanese city. Hondori did not consist of a single, large building; it was an
entire city street that had been covered with a richly illuminated and
beautifully decorated roof. It was always filled with shoppers on foot or on
bicycles, and many tourists browsed through the varied shops. The small shop in
which Keiko sold fashionable footwear to the wives of office workers who wasted
away the hours in the nearby office towers was located toward the east of the
long shopping street. She herself was now headed west, to the Hondori station
of the Astram train line. The train would bring her to Ozuka, to the west of Hiroshima.
Downtown Hiroshima itself was
located on an island in the Ota River,
but Ozuka was on the mainland. Ozuka station was only 8 kilometers from
downtown, but the Astram line’s commuter trains circled the city: first the
line went north, and then in one giant half-circle it came down again on the
western mainland. Keiko walked briskly toward the train station, she longed for
a warm meal, a warm shower and an even warmer bed. Tomorrow was Saturday, and
she could sleep in. She smiled. In her hurry, she did not notice the tall, thin
figure that was silently following her. This was not the first night on which
she’d had a stalker; the creature had been watching her for some time. It had
noticed her slender frame, her small yet perfectly shaped breasts, her elegant
face, her graceful demeanor. It had noticed all these things from the safe
anonymity that the crowds in Hondori afforded it, and it had grown hungrier
each day.
It followed her to a small noodle shop. It waited patiently
near a bike rack until a small bespectacled man handed her a bag containing
soup. She continued on her way, hoping to catch the 9:21 PM train. The station had only opened a few months
before, and she was glad that she no longer had to take a bus to get back to
her apartment. The train saved her a lot of time, and it was usually on time.
The creature followed her onto the platform, blending in perfectly with the
myriad other travelers. Once a long time ago, it had preferred to approach its
victims directly, fearlessly. These days, the police made it ever harder for it
to satisfy its hunger, and it was forced to stalk its prey carefully. It had to
be careful not to leave fingerprints. It had to be smart. But it also had long
lost the nerve to look into its victim's eyes when the moment came; it needed
drugs to calm its nerves. If Keiko had turned her head toward the creature, she
would have seen the two enormous teeth it bared as it smiled at her. But she
was looking in the other direction, hoping for the impeccably clean gold and
black train to appear soon. The ride to Ozuka would take about half an hour,
and she'd walk a few minutes from the station to her apartment. She saw the
light of the train approaching and readied herself to fight for a seat with the
other passengers as it slowed down in front of the platform. She waited for the
hiss that signified the imminent opening of the doors, and pushed her small body
inside. She found a seat, and after scanning the other travelers she closed her
eyes, tired from a long, boring day at work. The creature, meanwhile, stepped
into the very same wagon as her, but she still didn’t notice it. It was dressed
in the smart businessman uniform that so many Japanese office workers wore: a
black suit, a white shirt, and an unremarkable blue tie. It had a clean-shaven
face, a shiny bald head, and was quite tall. It gave no indication that it was
anything other than a typical Japanese office worker, at least not to the
casual observer. Had Keiko given the creature more than a passing glance, she
would have noticed that it never blinked. She also hadn't paid any attention to
the ice chest the creature was carrying. It was filled up with ice cubes and
was quite heavy, but the creature seemed to handle it as easily as if it were
made of paper.
The train began to move, and the
creature managed to find a seat. It bore no ill will toward Keiko, but knew
that it would have to kill her. It was going to drink her blood and eat her
heart. That's just the way things were. The way things had to be. Why Keiko?
Why not someone else? Well, that was complicated. Back in the old days the
creature could have simply taken a victim in the night, and no one would have
suspected it. Life -and death- were easier back then. These days its need to be
careful had driven it to seek out people who lived alone because it was easier
to kill loners, and because no one would miss them for a while. It had to
subdue its instincts, and perform clean kills. It had to be methodical,
precise. This didn't prevent it from enjoying its victims in other ways, which
was exactly why it almost always chose young women to be its plaything, but
there was something else about Keiko, something that it couldn't quite
understand, and that unsettled it. As the train pulled out of the station, the
creature thrust its index finger into its inner jacket pocket. When it removed
the finger it was coated with a fine white powder, which the creature quickly
rubbed onto its gums. Soon the drug would be flowing through its veins, soon it
would feel lighter... it wondered what Keiko's blood would taste like and,
knowing that it still had some time before the train reached its destination it
let its head fall back against the window. Its thoughts drifted back to a time
before cocaine, before trains, before ice chests, before shopping malls,
before, before, before...
Tetsuya hated early mornings with a passion.
"Procrastinating is of no use," his wife said
without an ounce of compassion. He smiled at her as she handed him his armor. They'd
been married eight years now, and he was as much in love with her as he'd been
back then.
"I know, Emiko, I know. Asano
wants us all to be there early, so I've got no choice. I'd much rather stay
here with you... " Emiko glanced at her husband. He was handsome, his
thick black hair framing a face that at
the age of 26 had lost none of its boyish charm. She hated for him to leave her
so early as well, but he was right: he didn't have a choice. His daimyo, or
Lord, had declared war on a rival, and as his master’s soldier he had to go
into battle. ‘Why do we always have to do these things early in the morning?’
he wondered as he drank some water. He splashed the remaining water on his face
and then he opened the thin bamboo door that separated his humble dwelling from
the world outside. His look fell upon the courtyard right in front of his hut;
usually it was bristling with activity, farmers selling or trading their wares,
warriors bragging about their exploits, women gossiping… but not today, and
certainly not this early. The sun had yet to rise. Presently the courtyard was
overfilled with soldiers; samurai, who illuminated their gathering place with
torches and waited silently and patiently for the arrival of their master.
Tetsuya left his home and mingled with the other samurai, each of whom was
accompanied by his most prized possession: a magnificent sword. A few quiet
greetings here, a few nods of the head here, time to find a good place to
stand, and then daimyo Asano was there: a short, stocky man, maybe about 45
years of age. He wore a scar on his face, in witness from a past battle. His
armor was far more exquisitely detailed than Tetsuya's. His sword was the
biggest here, truly befitting his station, for a daimyo was a rich man who
owned a lot of land and employed the samurai who lived on his property, and he
never let them forget that he was their master and benefactor. The samurai, in
return, protected his lands and his people from rival daimyos. Daimyos often
fought each other for more land or political advantages. In theory they were
all citizens of the greater Japan,
under the control of His Majesty, the Emperor; but he was just a figurehead, a
boy of barely 7 years, and the real power lay with the Shogun, the Imperial War
Lord.
Asano stepped onto a small platform
in the center of the courtyard, and addressed his warriors: “Men! Samurai! Our
honor has been insulted! A daughter of our clan has been violated” – Tetsuya
knew that she had not in fact been violated, she had merely decided to see
someone from another clan, but the truth didn’t matter when a lie could be
exploited for political or financial gain- “and it is our duty to avenge this
infamy! We will begin at once! We will march toward Akinakano, encircle the
main houses, and assault the town from all sides at once!” The perhaps two
thousand men assembled in the courtyard of Hiroshima
Castle erupted into cheers and
began the trek toward the forest, from which they would stage their assault.
About an hour and a half later
Tetsuya glanced over at his friend, Shigeru. They were in position on the far
side of the village they were about to attack. Their force numbered about 800
men, and Asano had remained with the main force of about 1200 on the near side.
The daimyo would signal them when it was time to commence their assault.
“Nervous, Tetsuya?” Shigeru
inquired.
“No,” Tetsuya lied.
Shigeru smiled knowingly. Soon
their lives would be on the line, and no matter how well prepared they were, no
one could ever foretell the outcome of a battle. They had an advantage now, in
the darkness, but once that was gone the enemy would fight back.
The signal came, a burning arrow
splitting the night with its fiery glow. Tetsuya, Shigeru, and the rest of
their force lunged forward, swords drawn. They were a fearsome sight, with
their facemasks sculpted to resemble wild beasts and demons. Their tough
leather armor protected them from the simple weapons of the villagers, but Tetsuya
felt uneasy as he ran toward the first row of houses. Too often he had lost
friends in battle; too many times the blood of boys who were barely old enough
to kiss a girl had been spilt. ‘Why do we keep doing this’, he asked himself
under his helmet as he ran. ‘Why can’t we all just live in peace, there’s
enough land here for everyone.’ He knew the answer: because the daimyo had
ordered it. Of course his power was merely based on people’s beliefs that he
did in fact have power; if people stopped believing then he would stop being
their leader… but alas, the masses always swam with, and not against the
stream, and if they perceived the majority to follow the daimyo then they
would, too. His thoughts were rudely interrupted by a villager who had appeared
out of nowhere; he had undoubtedly been awakened by the commotion of hundreds
of armored men running through the narrow streets. The man was dressed in the
simple garb of a farmer, and was wielding a pitchfork. He screamed at Tetsuya
and his comrades, and Tetsuya skillfully danced around him, turning his back
towards him, and plunging his sword into the man’s neck in the same movement,
neatly severing his head.
The battle had begun.
********
I'd appreciate any comments and suggestions!
********
I'd appreciate any comments and suggestions!
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Random musings about cars
So, I'm finally getting around to getting my driver's license. A bit late, I know... but better late than never. Or so I keep telling myself as I cry myself to sleep each night, thinking about that empty space in the garage.
Completing the driver's training program here in Quebec takes a whole damn year, so that gives me time to contemplate what kind of car I want. Not being rich (you bastards need to buy more of my books), I will have to get either an econobox or something used. Since I'm not a fan of things that scream "poverty" at the top of their lungs, a Hyundai Accent or Chevy Spark are out of the question. So a used, bigger car it shall be then.
But what?
I only have a short commute to work, but I'd like to travel a bit. I need reliability and legroom (being 6'3"). I want something good-looking, and preferably something that not everybody else has. No Accord or Camry, please. Gas mileage is also of concern; what good is a car when you can't afford to go anywhere in it?
So I began looking at Prii. A decent late-model Prius can be had for less than 12 grand; they look different, the interior has a nice sci-fi feel to it, and mileage is impressive. But they have no soul. They are appliances, like a microwave. Very impressive pieces of engineering, but there is no joy in them. Why would I want something that makes it decidedly difficult to enjoy driving?
Many people of course do buy a Prius, and then can't shut up about how they are so much better than the rest of us because you know, they are single-handedly saving the environment. That, however is a lie. Even if a Prius consumed no gas at all and were powered by the hot air escaping from its driver's mouth, it would never make up for the tremendous amount of energy and resources that are spent building any new vehicle. If you were to buy a used Hummer, a vehicle that already exists out there in the world, you'd be doing much more to save the environment than a guy who just bought himself a new Prius. A Hummer driver might indeed have issues with the size of his penis, but a Prius driver has issues with the size of his brain as well.
Of course, used Prii already exist and the gas savings would be nice, but I wouldn't want to be mistaken for an enviro-moron. Luckily for me, my casual browsing through various car auction sites revealed that one can now buy a Corvette C5 (1997-2004) for well under 20 grand... And Mustangs (2005- and up) go for below 10 grand... Why would I buy anything else? Why would anyone? I mean, if you've been afflicted by the terrible illness known as "kids", then you need something bigger. That is the price you pay for having cheaped out on rubbers.
Another option I looked at is hearses. Not newer ones, but older, body on frame, early 90's Cadillac monsters with rear wheel drive and big engines. They are only lightly used (the trip from church to the cemetery is usually a short, slow one), offer lots of space, and they're bloody cool. A black Caddy hearse, lowered, with a sound system and a mattress in the back (for uh, napping on those long trips) would be niiiice. But they're terrible on gas and difficult to insure. And spare parts for the bodywork are very hard to get, since they're low-production volume cars.
Ah, decisions, decisions. I got another year before I pick something.
Got any suggestions for me?
Completing the driver's training program here in Quebec takes a whole damn year, so that gives me time to contemplate what kind of car I want. Not being rich (you bastards need to buy more of my books), I will have to get either an econobox or something used. Since I'm not a fan of things that scream "poverty" at the top of their lungs, a Hyundai Accent or Chevy Spark are out of the question. So a used, bigger car it shall be then.
But what?
I only have a short commute to work, but I'd like to travel a bit. I need reliability and legroom (being 6'3"). I want something good-looking, and preferably something that not everybody else has. No Accord or Camry, please. Gas mileage is also of concern; what good is a car when you can't afford to go anywhere in it?
So I began looking at Prii. A decent late-model Prius can be had for less than 12 grand; they look different, the interior has a nice sci-fi feel to it, and mileage is impressive. But they have no soul. They are appliances, like a microwave. Very impressive pieces of engineering, but there is no joy in them. Why would I want something that makes it decidedly difficult to enjoy driving?
Many people of course do buy a Prius, and then can't shut up about how they are so much better than the rest of us because you know, they are single-handedly saving the environment. That, however is a lie. Even if a Prius consumed no gas at all and were powered by the hot air escaping from its driver's mouth, it would never make up for the tremendous amount of energy and resources that are spent building any new vehicle. If you were to buy a used Hummer, a vehicle that already exists out there in the world, you'd be doing much more to save the environment than a guy who just bought himself a new Prius. A Hummer driver might indeed have issues with the size of his penis, but a Prius driver has issues with the size of his brain as well.
Of course, used Prii already exist and the gas savings would be nice, but I wouldn't want to be mistaken for an enviro-moron. Luckily for me, my casual browsing through various car auction sites revealed that one can now buy a Corvette C5 (1997-2004) for well under 20 grand... And Mustangs (2005- and up) go for below 10 grand... Why would I buy anything else? Why would anyone? I mean, if you've been afflicted by the terrible illness known as "kids", then you need something bigger. That is the price you pay for having cheaped out on rubbers.
Another option I looked at is hearses. Not newer ones, but older, body on frame, early 90's Cadillac monsters with rear wheel drive and big engines. They are only lightly used (the trip from church to the cemetery is usually a short, slow one), offer lots of space, and they're bloody cool. A black Caddy hearse, lowered, with a sound system and a mattress in the back (for uh, napping on those long trips) would be niiiice. But they're terrible on gas and difficult to insure. And spare parts for the bodywork are very hard to get, since they're low-production volume cars.
Ah, decisions, decisions. I got another year before I pick something.
Got any suggestions for me?
Sunday, September 1, 2013
A poem
The River
Still hurts when I see your face somewhere
Thoughts of your grace still linger in the air
No other woman has quite the same flair
Your cruel absence drives me into despair
Sitting alone in this cold, empty place
Wondering who could fill this space
You left in what seemed like a race
And you disappeared without a trace
You found another and you moved on
My sorrows I drown in Walker's
John
Oh where, oh where has my love gone?
I used to have joy, but now I have none
My life must go on, as hard as it seems
Though I still see you in nightly dreams
But no longer I cry and painfully scream
For new love I look in life's raging stream
- This poem is an excerpt from my forthcoming book, "Reflections", which will be available on Amazon, Apple's iBookstore, and other online bookstores in the next few weeks. Follow me on https://www.facebook.com/officialsvb for release info!
- This poem is an excerpt from my forthcoming book, "Reflections", which will be available on Amazon, Apple's iBookstore, and other online bookstores in the next few weeks. Follow me on https://www.facebook.com/officialsvb for release info!
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